According to a new study done by MSN.com, 40% of women knew their marriage wasn’t going to work out before they even said their ‘I do’s’. My first instinct was to look at this statistic and wonder why they would get married in the first place, but after thinking about it logically, I see why these confused brides continued to walk down the isle.
A lot of the time, people look at ‘long term’ as a solution. In my profession, I encounter countless people who think they may be better off without their partners, but stay out of either fear, comfort, routine, or simply because they truthfully believe that if they stick it out, that one day their problems will be eliminated simply because they stayed together. It’s what psychologists call ‘the wedding solution.’ People think that if they do something like have a baby together or get married, knowing they’re linked with a stronger bond will make them more determined to work through their problems.
What often ends up happening is that the two parties resent each other for wasting their time with a long marriage that was really unwanted in the first place, which causes arguments and eventually leads to divorce.
So how do you avoid this when searching for people through an online dating site? You stick with your instincts!
Most people are a good judge of the characters they would and wouldn’t get along with. If you start talking with someone who gives you a bad impression, or if when you meet someone to transition from internet dating to dating in the real world and you don’t connect, don’t waste your time trying to salvage what you had online. Sometimes chemistry simply doesn’t transfer to reality, and it’s best to put your efforts into finding someone you go well with instead of trying to save something with a person you’ve only known online.
If you think things won’t work out, spend your time on something that you think will!