I can’t tell you how many people I got excited over online only to have the hypothetical cyber door slammed in my face. Getting rejected hurts, regardless if it’s in real life or not. There were times that I was ready to quit online dating altogether, but I pulled through. Instead of letting the rejection get to me, I used it as a platform of motivation to try a little harder.
It’s easy to get down when someone has bruised your ego, but these are some tips people gave me along the way to deal with internet rejection. They worked for me, and I hope they can work for you, too.
The first piece of advice is a little tough, but it’s important– try and date in your own league. There’s times when I’d get messages from people and not respond because of how they looked or what their profile told me about themselves. I don’t want to say I felt better than them, but we were just from two different worlds. Keep in mind that the people looking at your profile are going to be doing the same thing. If you’re used to dating people of a certain standard, it may not be the best idea to only message 10’s. This sets yourself up for an easy no.
Be aware of where the conversation is going. If there’s a point where you realize that the messages from the person you used to get consistently are now coming few and far between, maybe this is her way of telling you that she’s not so interested anymore. If you’re the type of person that can’t stand rejection, it may be a good idea to play the defense and be the one to cut the ties.
Have a sense of humor about it. If you can’t laugh at yourself, then you’re going to have a sad journey. Dating is hard both online and offline, but if you have a light heart about it then you’re going to have an easier time.
Start fresh. Just because you were rejected by someone doesn’t mean your internet dating life is over! Start a new conversation with someone you haven’t spoken with yet to get your mind off of things. The excitement of the new person will ware off any harsh feelings of rejection that are left lingering.
Don’t assume she rejected you! If she hasn’t messaged you in a few days, that may just mean she was busy! People don’t always have time to get to the computer and answer their messages. Send her a quick message just to let her know you’ve noticed her absence and that you miss your daily chats. Even if she was planning on rejecting you, a sweet gesture like this may be the spark that gets her to stay.
The world never ends with rejection. That door closing just gives the opportunity for other doors to open. Keep an open mind and a light heart, and if at first you don’t succeed, then simply try again.