Let’s face it: We live in a world where you never know what you’re getting with people. Someone you meet on an online dating site can tell you a doctor when really they’re a chef, and someone you meet in a bar can tell you they’re baggage-free when really they have 4 kids at home and a nagging ex-wife.
When you meet someone who claims to be single, unfortunately that might not be the case. If you have someone new in your life that you think may be hiding something, here are three of the easiest ways to spot someone who’s lying about being off the market:
We Should, We Don’t
New couples love making plans. From “Wouldn’t it be fun to go to Maine for a day?” to “Let’s try that new sushi restaurant in town,” it’s great to plan towards something together. If your new beau or babe is all talk but never has the actions to back it up, chances are there’s a reason for that! Going out of town would obviously raise questions with their significant other and going to that new restaurant may be a little too public for them to feel safe. If he’s always suggesting plans and never scheduling them, that might be a red flag.
Does This Guy Not Have A Schedule?
What’s with the time he’s calling you…? 9PM, 7:46AM, noon, midnight… Does he not have a schedule?! If someone is calling you at all different hours when you know they work a standard 9-5, it’s probably because he’s calling you simply when he can, not when he wants to. If you have suspicions about why he’s not calling you at regular times, give him a call when you assume he’d be home. If he doesn’t pick up, you know something’s up.
“Yah… I Don’t Want Anything Serious Right Now.”
If he tells you that he doesn’t want anything serious, that’s a warning sign! If you don’t want a serious relationship, you show that with actions, not with words. If he’s saying he doesn’t want something serious, it could be because he already has something serious back at home.
These days you can’t always take someone’s word on their relationship status– You have to do some work to find out yourself. If you don’t want to be too obvious with your detective work, take these three simple tips and find out while being stealth!
The worst case scenarios from users of online dating often come from people who realized only after building a solid Internet relationship that the other person was already dating someone else.
Cheaters not only ruin the relationship the two of you have together, it often leaves you with damaging trust issues that you take into the future, and can completely taint your outlook on online dating sites.
So how can you protect yourself against Internet cheaters? It’s not like they advertise the fact they’re already taken. If you’re suspicious that you may be flirting with a married man, use these tips to help you steer clear of trouble.
- Look out for story inconsistency.
Those who are the first to lie are usually the first to cheat. If he tells you that he has a business meeting that night and can’t chat, then tells you the next day that he had a relaxing evening at home and went to bed early, then you should take that as a red flag. Flawed stories and the excuses that go along with them when they’ve been called out should be your first and biggest sign that he’s untrustworthy.
- If you meet him, be aware of where you’re doing it.
If you decide to take the date offline, make note of where he suggests. If he said he works and lives in the west end of the city, why is he suggesting a restaurant in the east end? And make note of when he wants to make the date as well. If it’s during office hours, it’s probably because he doesn’t have to make an excuse for not being home on time.
- Ask to get coffee with him around his work.
Even if you’re not planning on meeting up with him, seeing his reaction to getting coffee in his work neighborhood will tell you a lot about his other commitments. If he is instantly against the idea, it’s most likely because he doesn’t want the people he works with to run into him and his mistress. Simply making the suggestion to get the reaction will tell you a lot.
- Is he always making excuses for being really flakey?
Internet dating is still dating, and you shouldn’t accept being stood up. If you were suppose to chat online and he simply didn’t show, you have the right to know why. Is his excuse legitimate? Does it sound like a real reason, or an excuse? If he goes MIA when you were suppose to chat (or if he’s always leaving suddenly when you are chatting), chances are he’s a ghost because he doesn’t want to get caught.
The best thing you can do is trust your instincts! If you have a feeling that he’s otherwise involved, as him about it! If his answer isn’t satisfactory, then move on. There’s plenty of other fish in the online dating sea.