“What are you thinking?” It’s a question asked daily by girls who are genuinely interested in what their date is thinking. It’s a simple enough question, but men seem to freeze up when asked. There’s probably quite a few things they could say (“I really want a bag of beer-nuts right now,” “There should be less ice in this beer,” “I was thinking about your boobs.”), but nothing ever seems to come out. Our answer usually sounds something like the mundane answer, “I was just thinking about how much fun I’m having with you,” which is rarely ever the case. If you only knew us a little better, you wouldn’t have to ask the question!
In order to prevent you driving the guy you’re dating crazy with the unwanted question, I thought I’d shed a little insight into the things we wish you knew, so you didn’t have to ask about.
- It’s really hard for us to express our feelings.
A lot of women get frustrated at the fact they don’t hear what they want to hear enough. The Hollywood dream has women believing that men should constantly be professing their undying love and showing their feelings. The truth is, it’s hard for most guys to get in a vulnerable enough state that they’re able to share how they feel. If a guy isn’t always telling you that he’s interested, that’s OK! Don’t be put off by his lack of communication. Guys like to show how they feel more than they like to say how they feel.
- We’re not as afraid of commitment as you think we are, we just need to be really sure about the relationship.
This point comes back around to men not being good at saying what they feel. Women usually question men’s commitment because they really don’t know how he feels about the relationship. Instead of being worried about where it’s going, enjoy the time you spend together and get him used to the idea of having a monogamous relationship. Men take time to develop feelings strong enough to believe that commitment is a good thing, and pressure only delays those feelings. Instead of pressuring him into a relationship, give him time and he’ll come around.
- Sure we like sex, but we’re not sex crazed.
I don’t know what it is about women thinking that all men think about is sex, but it’s time to break that thinking pattern! Yes men enjoy sex, but that’s just because it gives us an easy way of expressing our feelings towards you without having to think of the words to do it with. If a guy you’re dating, or even seeing through online dating, comes on a little strong, give him the benefit of the doubt. There’s a good chance he’s just trying to get closer with you, and this may be the only way he feels comfortable doing so.
- We need a little alone time with our friends.
We really don’t understand how you want your girl time, but don’t tolerate our weekly poker game. It’s not that we don’t want to spend time with you, we really just want to hang out with our buds! If you ask us to do something and we already have plans with our friends, don’t get angry at it! We’ll hang out with you tomorrow. We promise.
- That whole male ego thing? Yah that’s real. Please don’t bruise it.
If you open the jar of pickles that we can’t open, you may find it funny for a few seconds, but we’ll be thinking about that for weeks. If you need to stroke our ego a little for us to get out of a bad mood, we promise we’ll appreciate it more than anything else you do all year.
So there you have it! A look into the male mind on things we wish you already knew.
About the guest blogger: