I’ve had friends say before that what you should talk about while online dating is what you should talk about at a dinner party. It took me a while to realize what they were talking about, but once it clicked in, it really resonated. When you’re at a dinner party, you’re always on your best behavior. Never talking about things like religion or other subjects that may cause controversy within the group you’re with, and always trying to upkeep the conversation about things everyone seems to have a similar opinion about.
The reason for this is to insure you’re not going to butt heads while at the dinner table. It should be a place for relaxed and fun conversation, not somewhere to discuss your problems in live. The same topics and manners should be applied when responding to dating online personals. You want to stay in light hearted conversations. If you end up going on a real date, then you can get into more in depth talks. Why? Because it’s hard to perceive how something will come across online. You may say something one way and they could take it a completely different way, which will put off the whole connection you’ve built.
The number one thing to avoid is discussions about finances. Everyone has money problems, and talking about your own only jump starts them to thinking about theirs. It’s the easiest topic to de-rail a conversation.
Think about things you don’t want a date to be talking about. Chances are the first thing that came to your mind is their ex. Why would you want to know any details, whether good or bad, about their past relationship? It won’t help you further yours, and will probably put a dark cloud over the date. If you’re talking about good things about your ex, your date will probably think you’re not over them yet. If they’re talking about negative things, then they’ll assume you can’t keep a good relationship. Talking about your ex is sticky territory, and there’s no need to enter it while online.
Lastly, don’t talk about your pet peeves! It may seem like a minute detail, but believe me, once you start talking about something you don’t like, no matter how small it is, they’re going to see you as a negative thinker. If they bring up something you’re not fond of, either simply listen to what they have to say about it, or change the subject all together. There’s no need to put your opinion in about everything, especially if it’s negative.
When you’re talking to someone online, avoid anything you wouldn’t speak about at a dinner table. Manners and conversation topics are important aspects to the online dating world, so keep yourself in check and be mindful of what you say.
The whole point of going on a first date is to see if there is any sort of chemistry between you and your date, and in order to do this, you have to put your best foot forward. Ultimately, you have to lead with what is good about you and your life. This is what makes you attractive, and this is what makes you desirable.
You may not like to hear this, but trust me, it’s true, and I would know!
Once you bring up difficult subjects or private details on a date the focus is now off of your sparkling personality and good qualities and on to your troubles, and let’s be honest, there is nothing attractive about that!
There will be plenty of time to share these intimate details later on, but for now you want to hold off talking about any of these topics:
If you’re a mother or father, it is necessary that your date knows this right away. But, it is not necessary that your date knows everything or anything, for that matter, about your children!
You might be an executive at some big shot company, but you don’t need to mention this when you’re on a first date. Of course you can talk about what type of work you do etc., but don’t mention anything that seems competitive.
Do not talk about being a victim. Whether it be a victim of a previous bad relationship, a tough childhood, financial instability, etc.
Of course your health is a crucial part of your life, but it shouldn’t be a topic of discussion on a first date. That is something that you can definitely hold off on.
Of course you will eventually talk about these topics, but I suggest waiting until after about 4-6 dates and only if you see potential for a relationship.