Like most women, I got a lot of my dating advice in my youth from Carrie Bradshaw. Somewhere in the later seasons she posed the interesting question of, “What’s your relationship karma?” Which got me to thinking, obviously, what is my relationship karma? Can something that I did poorly in a past relationship come back to bite me in the backside during a new one, or is the idea of relationship karma something that only exists in television shows?
The idea of Karma is universal, no matter which religion you do or don’t follow. You can be a Christian, an atheist or, the obvious, a Buddhist and still believe in Karma. The idea behind it is simple: You do something good, you’ll get re-paid by having something good done to you in return. You treat someone like a jerk, and you’ll be treated the same way. The concept is there so balance is kept in your life, and to encourage you to treat people the way you want to be treated. So if Karma is a concept we generally accept– should it be something we fear in relationships?
It’s not often that we end relationships on really positive notes. Most of the time there are big fights, harsh words, and and ending that would make the Sex and the City writers themselves jealous they didn’t write it. When you end one relationship on such a sour note, should you expect your next one to walk down the same path? Unless you’re Ms. Bradshaw, Relationship Karma isn’t something you should worry about.
Doing things you’re not proud of in past relationships doesn’t guarantee you will feel that wrath in this one, but dwelling on it might. A good example of this is cheating. When your last relationship ends because you cheated, you don’t really get the opportunity to properly redeem yourself with the person you cheated on. Instead, you carry that guilt to the next relationship and end up ruining things for yourself there because you’re holding onto so much baggage. It’s not the karma that’s going to pull you down, it’s the feelings you have left over about your past actions that will.
The only way that relationship karma will hinder your dating life is if you let it! Instead of bring bad feelings from other relationships into your current dating find, resolve your old feelings before you find someone new. That way you’ll be baggage free, and your karma slate will be wiped clean.